Today/night/afternoon/morning (to- doesn't even go on afternoon or morning) we're going to talk about a pandemic. It's called The Bubonic Plague.
No. Of course I'm not going to talk about the fucking Bubonic Plague. That's depressing as hell. What I am going to talk about is young love, or the predictable collapse thereof. It's nothing new that teenagers get together into dozens of short-lived relationships throughout their pre- post- and during- pubescent period. It's also nothing new that these relationships have the life-expectancy of a house-fly. Most experienced adults attribute the limited time frame to the young person's lack of knowledge of "how to love", or "what love is". This is, in so many words, bullshit. If someone could just "know how to love" another person, then the divorce rate would probably be a fraction of a fraction of what it is know. In theory, you should be able to marry anybody, and meet the requirement "till death do you part." And knowing what love is doesn't give you more of a chance of being in love, as if not knowing disqualifies you from being able to claim your love publicly. Loving someone in a relationship, and knowing it, is a matter of opinion, and point-of-view. Apparently you'll just recognize it, like sea turtles that crawl to the ocean. Bullshit.
But I'm not here to argue your case with your homophobic parents about your love for your gay/lesbian/canine companion. I'm only here to tell you why your relationship with your dog won't last. Relationships often start hot and heavy, a lot of physical contact, communication and not wanting to be away from each other. When things go well, you get what some people call "Young Love". Feelings grow and things get more intense. When things go well, trust is built, and more things are explored that were rarely, or ever explored before. The relationship climaxes. Here is where problems start.
In Most Common Scenario Numbered 1: One person still vies for the same attention level as when the relationship climaxed. They do not sense, or choose not to acknowledge the decline in excitement in the relationship. They hold out the same amount of enthusiasm as when the relationship first started, while their partner loses interest more and more because of this over-enthusiasm. Eventually the relationship crashes into a fiery abyss.
In Most Common Scenario Numbered 2: The relationship flows through it's natural course, starting off strong, getting stronger and eventually zeroing out before the intensity begins a steady and inevitable decline. The partners don't go out of their way as often to see or communicate like they used to. They don't spend anywhere near as much time around each other, nor do they even want to. At some point, someone sees this as a problem. They are concerned that the two are "growing apart". Of course this is true. But it's not always as bad as the concerned may choose to believe. It may just be a lull, or just things finally balancing out, because no matter how good something is, it can get old. If your relationship reaches this point and survives, you're gonna be stuck with that one for a while. I hope you like them. This is the stage of an even, logical balance of sex and attention from/to both parties. Of course there are relationships that start at that state. Lucky motherfuckers. But if someone does panic, then this relationship will end in a small explosion and a large cloud of smoke, fog, and debris.
Now the final scenario I will talk about will be Most Common Scenario Numbered 86.4: You actually grow apart. It happens whether you're young, middle aged, old, or Dick Cheney. You both lose interest, mutually. And eventually one of you says, "Fuck it, hey I wanna go date that chick that works the register at Walmart." "Really? I was gonna go date her sister..."
Of course you have your usual relationship killers like infidelity, lies, betrayals, insanity, murder, and more commonly, lack of trust, which ties in to the he-say, she-say, misunderstandings, and previous experiences.
Honestly, the best you can do is try not to be the reason your relationship ends. And if it has to end, take from it and bring more to the table next time. Or question your sexuality.
