I have to be honest. I am a magician at opening with women. I can get almost any woman interested, no matter my physical appearance at the time, or my financial status. I actually got the number of one girl with the opening of me going overdraft for a sandwich. She was the cashier. My problem lies in the close. It actually always has. Where am I going after I've gotten her attention? If I can't close in a matter of minutes, I'm probably gonna burn. But there was something I discovered about having already opened with someone. Even if you burn out in the first round you have to remember. There is always room to redefine yourself in someone else's eyes. What is needed is time and a plan. (This method also works with escaping the Friend Zone.)
BEFORE I reveal to you these trade secrets, I have to present you with this one DISCLAIMER: If, when I say burn out, your "burn out" involves you offending, pissing off or in any way presenting the person you pursue with any unpleasant feelings other than BOREDOM and LACK OF INTEREST, this shit will not work for you, work on your social skills or find another species to have sex with (dugongs are said to have vaginas most similar to the human female, they're actually what sailors had sex with and turned into the myth of mermaids. Yes it was the bottom half that was human).
After you've opened with a woman of interest and burnt your chances to the ground, you do what federal agents call "go dark". You have to disappear from their radar for a while. The next time you intend to come in contact with her should be weeks, even months later. Before you talk to her, it might help to have masturbated recently, and be looking your best. I don't mean suit and tie, or even button down. I mean the best version of you that you can offer. If all you wear is heavy metal band T-shirts, then dig out your cleanest, newest, least horrifying shirt, iron that motherfucker if need be, find your clean jeans, and do something with your hair you bum, you look like you just came from a homeless orgy.
Another thing that goes far (for some strange reason) is compliments. Not to many, but not too subtle either. Sprinkle in some very blunt compliments, like " Look at you looking extra cute today." and/or "You know you are so much prettier when you're smiling." What I like to do is bombard her with like 3 or four compliments at once, this throws her off her defenses- and then stop and become strictly business ask questions about things you want to get, no more compliments. If all cards up until then have been played right, this will leave her wanting more. Ask about things like "Hey do you know somebody selling a (insert random item here)?" This usually leads to her trying to start a conversation about this item. "Oh so you're getting a new (random item)?" To which you should reply with a decently blunt response. "Yeah I was just looking into it, mine's been acting up." You don't engage further, and during this conversation, you don't look at her directly. Try to keep your eyes off in the distance as if you're looking for something. This gives the illusion that this is a privileged visit. Keep things on your first return into her life simple and straight forward. It's best to leave on a flirty note, though. You don't have to give anymore compliments, you can end it with something like "I'll hit you later." And leave with a little smile. LITTLE. The kind of smile that gives the impression that you're not ecstatic, but you are a little bit happier you saw her. It also helps a lot if you give her an obvious once over while you're walking away, as if you're trying to be slick and check out her body without her noticing. I usually glance all the way down to the belt or waist. This way you compliment the BODY, but if you stop at the boobs, she'll get the wrong (or right) impression, which you obviously don't want. I don't know why they're taught to be so sensitive about guys looking at their breasts, but they are.
Now these steps, instructions and/or tips I've offered you are for "chance" meetings in public places, her job (if it's like a Walmart or a Radio Shack or a mall. These are the best places to REdefine yourself, because you don't have to go too far out of your way to pretend you had a reason to be there. This is also barring the fact that she may be with someone. If so, keep her on hold, talk to her PERIODICALLY. DO NOT get into long conversations about her new boyfriend, hoping for info about him that you can use to turn on him and get her to leave. She has to make her own decisions about these things. You will only make it worse for yourself in the end. The plan always backfires.
So that just about concludes this post. I hope you learned something on this little visit into the wonderful little world of A Simple Sonata. That's all the time we have, thank you for playing. This post was sponsored in part by Downloaded Porn, "If you're still paying for porn, you're wrong." and Boredom "You have no life. That's why you're in this situation." Stay tuned next week when we interview John Jacobjingleheimerschmidt. "An original name? Or is it in fact, EVERYONE'S name?"
