You ran a stop sign. You got a a ticket. No matter how surprised you were that a cop saw you, you were not surprised that he was giving you a ticket.
That is how life works. Cause and effect. That's why it baffles me that so many people get into relationships with other people where there are obvious and sometimes fixable problems at the beginning, and they ignore those problems and end up letting them be the thing that makes them break up in the end.
For those who don't understand, I'll elaborate with a story.
You meet a woman in the mall.
You find out she is a stripper.
You date said stripper.
Said stripper comes home late every weekend smelling like alcohol and cigarette smoke.
You do not like this.
You notice that said stripper gets a lot of attention from men, even while not working.
You do not like this.
You go to said stripper's job with your friends to show off said stripper.
You now see said stripper grinding on horny people for literally a dollar at a time.
Your friends see your girlfriend naked.
You do not like this.
You argue with said stripper about her choice of work.
She does not like this.
You break up.
Your friends call you stupid because you dated a stripper.
Did you notice the first warning sign? I'll give you a hint: it was in the first line. You meet a woman in the mall, you're probably talking to her because you saw her, she was attractive, and that made you want to talk to her. You didn't know that she was a stripper. But you were showing her attention. A lot like the attention that she was getting from other men later in the story. Now this isn't to say you shouldn't meet a woman in a mall or any public place because she's attractive, but that you shouldn't be surprised when other people find her attractive. You should have prepared for that. Let's move on...
The second warning sign was in the second line. Obviously. You found out she was a stripper. Now you should immediately think to yourself, "Do I have what it takes to date a stripper? Confidence, patience, a trusting personality?"
Do you know where the third sign was? I'll give you a hint: It's not where you think. There were no more signs. The rest of the story are all results of the two bits of information you gathered in the first two lines. (And you didn't even have to ask her her name! No your real name. That's not your real name, come on, what is it?)
This isn't some warning about dating strippers, it's a warning about dating anyone, or two, or -thing. Whatever. No judgements. From day one, you are gathering information on the other person, and it's up to you to pay attention and figure out whether or not you can handle it.
"Did she just say crae crae?"
"Did she just say she thinks porn is cheating?"
"Did he just say his 'wife'?"
If you pay attention to the bullshit you're getting right now, you can take a moment to think about what that bullshit will mean later. Do you like your space, and she seems a little clingy? Do you like to be close and they seem a little distant? Fix it now. Either sort that shit out or pack your bags and take your clingy ass to the next guy. He probably loves cuddling.
The funny thing is, women are usually better at cutting the bullshit early than men. Men are used to starting every relationship on probation, trying to impress her. So if a woman doesn't like it, it usually stops early, but the other way around, men are afraid to speak up, until the day he just wants her to stop singing that damn song. She can't sing. She's a horrible singer. Dammit... why did I let her serenade me on our second date. I want to crawl into the bathtub with that damn karaoke machine... she'd probably sing at my funeral.
You know your limits. Don't ignore the signs. If you can tell from day one that he's a class A hoarder, don't act like you didn't see it coming when you have to climb through a maze of old clocks, diapers and cat toys to get to your closet.
Long story short, don't run the stop sign and act surprised when you get the ticket. Next time you'll probably get sideswiped by a tractor trailer. And she'll probably sing at your funeral.
