But I honestly have no idea what I'm doing in this regard. I was patient, I was understanding, but in the end, I was flawed. For a moment I thought I knew how this ended. There's no guarantee that there will never be another lonely night, but I'd definitely never be alone. I knew that there would always be someone who kept me as a priority, and who I would do the same. It was clear that this was the time for me to cut the bullshit and do the thing. And as not ready as I was, I was ready... I got ready... I would get ready...
An hour ago, I could see it. A minute later it was gone. My future dragged back into the mist, reduced back to silhouettes and shapes. I don't know if I don't take things seriously because they're not serious, or if things aren't serious because I don't take them seriously. I guard myself from commitments that aren't concrete, protecting myself from a fate that may derail the vague perfect future I assume awaits. But am I just a coward afraid of taking a real risk? I thought not. For a minute, I was ready to take that risk, because I felt reassured that it was worth it. For a minute, I saw into the future, and it was so beautiful. But maybe I only saw into a dream... and then I woke up.
