The Relationship Equation: Pt 3 (AKA- Intelligence...)

I've spent my life trying to be the smart one. In school, at home, with friends, and with girlfriends. When you spend that much time pretending to be smart, you're bound to learn something. The biggest lesson I've learned is that through all of the things that I've learned, it turns out, I'm an idiot. The philosophy that I've lived by is to learn from other's mistakes. When you see that guy get married at 18 and get divorced at 18 and a half, you look at that fallen comrade and step over his body, sliding safely, and single-ly into 19 years old. When you see that guy marry a stripper, and get his bank account emptied the first time he's out of town, you check your pocket for your wallet, and throw that stripper's number into the trash.
The problem with this method of living is that you spend all of your time rubbernecking at somebody else's accident that you run right into the ass end of the giant van that was at a dead stop. And suddenly you're the idiot with whiplash, a concussion, and skyrocketing insurance premiums. If that metaphor lost you, let me explain it in a much simpler form. You forget that you're young and dumb, and are bound to make your own ridiculous, and completely avoidable mistakes. I've spent so much time trying to avoid being made the asshole of, I completely transformed myself into the one making assholes of people. I've missed out on clear opportunities to have the purest forms of happiness, more than once. Now I know that everyone does this, especially when you're young, but what stings is that I've prided myself in being "smarter than that." Truth is, I've become an idiot. I've been slapping all this armor onto my car so that I could be protected from the menaces in the road, and suddenly, I'm the one driving the tank down the wrong side of the carpool lane.
Life is about risks. Taking risks doesn't mean taking blind leaps of faith, it means weighing the potential benefits of success (S), against the cost of failure (F) and making sure that it's equal to, or less than the actual chance of failure(%F) proving that the risk (R) was worth it. Or...

(R)= (S)-(F)≤(%F)

That's it. Relationships are actually just that easy. 1s and 0s, ladies and gentlemen. Scientific and stuff. But just make sure you don't end up being the guy so blinded by the science of it, you forget to look for pure, genuine happiness with another, flawed human being. She might snore, he might be a lazy bastard, she might be a nag, and he might be a clumsy idiot. But in reality, you're one of those things to them, and for reasons that you may never understand, you spilling your cereal all over yourself right before you leave for work, or crawling into bed and wrapping yourself around him like an angry octopus may be one of the many terrible things about you that they smile about, as he sweats his ass off and waits until you're deep enough sleep for him to wriggle free and turn on the A/C. You can be the smartest asshole on the planet, but sometimes that won't stop you from looking like a below average asshole.