The Relationship Equation: Pt. 1

Gentlemen, have you ever been told by your lady counterpart that sex shouldn't be such a big deal to you? Have you been told that it shouldn't be so upsetting that she's holding out? Well, in fact, gentlemen, she's right. Sorry fellas. What's that? Oh you don't find that to be very interesting at all? "Why Mr. Sonata, you're always so enlightening, and mildly controversial! What treachery is this?!" Be calm, my loyal subjects, the controversy is only yet to begin. I am going to present what I like to call the Relationship Equation. It can be broken down in to the equation:

R=((P2)+(E2))(A2).

"Oh how scientific and confusing this has become! Please explain Professor Sonata!" This equation, with all its scientific letters and parentheses stands for:

RELATIONSHIP(R) EQUALS PHYSICAL SATISFACTION(P) TIMES (2) PLUS EMOTIONAL SATISFACTION(E)TIMES (2) TIMES ATTRACTION(A) TIMES 2

The fact of the matter is, you can't have a healthy relationship with out these three factors. But in reality, the PHYSICAL SATISFACTION(P) comes in different forms for different people. It's a fact that a woman can feel satisfied from a sexual encounter without actually having an orgasm, while that's the main goal for a man, finding that orgasm and going all the way through. this seeps through to our lesser physical requirements also. More women can find their (P) in a hug and a cuddle and go longer times without sex than males. So to them, the reality is, sex isn't important. But you may have noticed that everything in the equation says times (2). That's simply because there has to be two of EVERYTHING in order to have a healthy relationship(R). (R) is what you want, so you work backwards from there, to see what you need to get there. Let's say what you wanted was the number 10. Observe:

10=((2x2)2)+2

That equation is true. Broken down, it says 2x2 equals 4. True. Then, you multiply that times two. 4x2 equals 8. So far, so good. then it says you add 2 to that. 8+2 equals 10. Viola. Now let's start with 10 and alter just one of the numbers and see what we get.

10=((1x2)2)+2

Let's break it down. 1x2 equals 2. True. Then, it's 2x2. 4. Also true. Then we go ahead and add our last 2. 4+2 equals 10. Wrong. You get 6. When you take away just one aspect from the equation, you fall way short. The Relationship Equation is no less unforgiving. You cannot have a healthy relationship if you only have one person being satisfied in one area while the other person goes wanting. So if sex a part of someone's (P), then they need to figure out how they're going to get their 1. This isn't a shot at women who hold out, or guys who want to get laid. This isn't an attack on compromise. In reality, No one can have a perfect 10 for a relationship. But without compromise, you won't even come close. If he just HAS to have sex, and you just can't do it, Time to move on, because you're not going to make it past 6 as long as neither one of you budges. And if she just ain't giving it up, and you gotta get some, then maybe you should let this one go and "chalk it up as a loss" as they say. Or it could be the other way around, (I'm pretty sure that's how the Miley Cyrus and Jonas Brother situation played out) but that's too much typing for me right now so I'm going to go out on a limb and say you get the point. So figure out what you need to do to get that 9.5 and remember, no cheating. Class dismissed.