So I was jacking off, right?
Ha, I don't have a story that goes with that right now, but I kind of always wanted to start a story that way. Anyway, I had just finished jacking off, right? And when I finished, I sat there for a second, trying not to make a mess on myself, when something struck me as odd. I turned around and looked at the woman I had just had sex with and wondered if I may or may not have a problem. Naturally, I decided against that notion. But I realized, I couldn't just keep sleeping with random women, trying to replace my ex. I mean, my post relationship sex list is about triple what it was before I got into that relationship. I mean, even my ex was on my post relationship list. I've never been a player, nor had I imagined I would ever be one.
My dream as a kid, was to find a woman who would look at me and imagine that the sun shines out of my ass, I shit rainbows, my fingers play angel harps, and my penis was one of God's toes. I could honestly say that my ex was that girl. But I wasn't satisfied with that. I don't know when guys develop this conquering complex, but I suddenly found myself wanting more. Not more as in emotional connection or moral support, but like more as in Playboy mansion style orgies, with Playboy Bunnies and dead celebrities like Anna Nicole Smith and Marilyn Monroe along with, NBA basketball stars, like Lebron James, Michael Jordan, and of course, Kobe and Tiger, and we all know why.
Honestly, I don't regret the decision, I regret that I'm at a point in my life where I was in a position where I had to do it. I always thought I had met her way too early in my life, and that I needed a few more years to man-whore myself around a bit, and live. Truth is, though, I really need to get to a point where all I'm doing is living. Just living. Ha. Man, sometimes I just wanna go home...
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