I was walking down the street recently, thinking about a party I hadn't been invited to.
"It's alright," I told myself. "It'll be late at night, and that's when I dress up in a costume and fight crime and save babies from burning buildings." That's what I told myself. (I was about 15 when I gave up on my dream of being a superhero ninja.) That's not what I'll be doing. In reality, I'll probably be playing video games, eating overpriced, late delivered Chinese food, waiting on a call from the girl who isn't good for me, or the other girl who isn't good for me, or the girl who didn't invite me to her party. Who also isn't good for me.
We all imagine ourselves as the protagonist of our own story. Often we do things we regret and wish we were in a reality where we could provide a valid excuse for doing something incredibly stupid. "Officer, the cure to cancer was supposed to be in that bag of weed. Look, I'll sell it to you for half he price I was going to sell it to that guy for."
The fact is, you're not always going to be the hero/heroine you wish you were. Sometimes you're the villain. More likely, you might come out as the trusty sidekick. And then, the most likely of all, you're the innocent bystander dodging debris and and hoping you're not the one who gets crushed by the billboard. Most of us don't want to go through our lives and come out on the other side unimpressive and unremembered. We spend so much of our time wanting to be loved, respected, and wanted, sometimes we become that villain. Or, worse, we forget to love ourselves.
I've been guilty of that, lately. Forgetting to take a minute and soak in a pool of my own awesome. I have a lot to get together, anyway. I really need to get my head on straight before I think about bringing anyone else into my situation. I've got some high hopes and a pretty positive attitude. And I don't even have an S on my chest.
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