Ok. So I owe you an update, right? Well here we go...
When I got into town, I was putting a lot of effort into talking to an ex-girlfriend of mine. While I knew she was flirting with one of my best friends the entire time, I elected to ignore it to see how far I could get. I had been with her a long time ago, and we had been in love. But with time, we became two completely different people. I figured out that she knew my intentions, and was actually using me for an escape from her reality, and had no intentions of actually getting intimate with me. I figured that was fine, I could game my way in, but alas! It wasn't meant to be. I called her out on her flirting, I found it weird that she acted like my best friend wouldn't tell me...
Anyway, I have since then been going out to the bars and clubs and meeting new women. And am guaranteed to go through my phone in the future and wonder immensely about all the new women's names in it. But in my outing adventures, I've learned a lot of bar etiquette, and pick up techniques that I'll be putting in a "how to" style blog soon, so don't you worry my inexperienced friends. I've gotten about ten different girls numbers in three days, but actually only got a text back from four.
I did meet one very interesting girl that I wouldn't mind finding out more about. But I expect things to fizzle out pretty quickly seeing as how I'll be in Honduras in two weeks.
What I did get to do was see my ex and her boyfriend at one of our shared friend's outings. She had asked to see me to have a conversation that would bring us to being... civil, I guess, much prior to this and I had denied it to her. But when the opportunity arose to show my face around a bunch of other people including her boyfriend, it was too much fun to pass up. It was actually...
more fun than anticipated.
She looked amazing, I won't lie, but then again so did I. I was in my prime. I got the number of one girl at the bar early on, and then hopped bars and got a few more numbers and made out with some girl I found irresistible in my drunken stupor. (My friends confirmed she actually was hot, and whether or not this was simply to spare my feelings, I may never know. Nor do I want to know...) I was contacted later that night, and a few times subsequently by my ex saying how I looked amazing and she wanted to see me again just to talk. We then proceeded to go through a ridiculously long discussion where I had to argue her out of that ridiculous idea. I had to explain, yet again, that we had nothing to talk about and that things between us were already "civil" and therefore there was nothing else to be done. And that she had a boyfriend and describing to her ex that she "needed" to see me was unhealthy and supported my theory that it was a terrible idea. She finally gave in and accepted the fact that it wasn't going to happen and we moved on.
The four girls that I was talking to got narrowed down, and now I'm going to see where it goes from here. One thing I will not be doing, is messing with any of my exes again...
Monday, January 28, 2013
Friday, January 25, 2013
Home Improvement...
My friend Dico has forced on me a cruel, cruel revelation. He is apparently obnoxiously better looking than me. I get to watch women fall all over themselves flirting with him while I get blessed with the ability of invisibility. I mean, we could literally say the same thing, and I wouldn't even be heard. We have the same tastes, the same sense of humor, and the same sense of entertainment, but when it comes to women, generally, they hate me, and they illogically, unrealistically, unfairly love him. I once saw him almost hit a woman with his car and when he got out he called her stupid. In response, she said, and I quote "Give me your number."
I was incredibly baffled by the way women functioned around him for a while. It made no sense. I could say the same exactly the same thing he said to a woman, but I would get blacklisted in the "Women's Book of Rejection" for all eternity, while they ask Dico to have their babies. I used to get a little frustrated at not understanding it, but not really at what was happening, because I didn't know what it was that I needed to duplicate to get to where he was. Was it the charm? We would talk to women in almost the same way... Was it the clothes? I dressed a bit more expensively than he did... And then one day, I got to analyze what the fuck was going on in front of me, and I figured out that apparently, he is a really good looking guy. I mean like, women get stupid around him good looking. And I didn't even know this until recently, and I've known the guy for seven years. I'm not gay, but I won't say that I don't know a good looking man from an average or ugly guy, and though I knew he wasn't a bad looking guy, I never knew that he was good looking to the point of have that effect on women.
All that aside, my purpose here isn't to tell you just about my friend's uncanny ability to pick-up.... *ahem* to be picked up by women, but to tell you what it is that I and or anyone should do if put in the situation I'm in.
What I want is to be good with women. What I see, is someone who is better. What I need to do, is be better.
Throughout life, you will encounter men and women who are better than you in one or more ways than one. Actually, it's likely that you will meet someone who is better than you in literally every category of being human that you can possibly be judged in. The fact of life is, no matter how far you go, even if you get every gold medal in the Olympics, there's no sure fire way to be sure that you actually are the best at anything. Chances are, you aren't. No matter what, there's someone better than you. So, what you do, is be better. You may never be the best, but you would be better. I mean, there's nothing wrong with with trying to be the best. Despite the fact that you may never be the best, you will be the best version of you in the end. I know it's corny, don't be an asshole. It's the truth.
I was incredibly baffled by the way women functioned around him for a while. It made no sense. I could say the same exactly the same thing he said to a woman, but I would get blacklisted in the "Women's Book of Rejection" for all eternity, while they ask Dico to have their babies. I used to get a little frustrated at not understanding it, but not really at what was happening, because I didn't know what it was that I needed to duplicate to get to where he was. Was it the charm? We would talk to women in almost the same way... Was it the clothes? I dressed a bit more expensively than he did... And then one day, I got to analyze what the fuck was going on in front of me, and I figured out that apparently, he is a really good looking guy. I mean like, women get stupid around him good looking. And I didn't even know this until recently, and I've known the guy for seven years. I'm not gay, but I won't say that I don't know a good looking man from an average or ugly guy, and though I knew he wasn't a bad looking guy, I never knew that he was good looking to the point of have that effect on women.
All that aside, my purpose here isn't to tell you just about my friend's uncanny ability to pick-up.... *ahem* to be picked up by women, but to tell you what it is that I and or anyone should do if put in the situation I'm in.
What I want is to be good with women. What I see, is someone who is better. What I need to do, is be better.
Throughout life, you will encounter men and women who are better than you in one or more ways than one. Actually, it's likely that you will meet someone who is better than you in literally every category of being human that you can possibly be judged in. The fact of life is, no matter how far you go, even if you get every gold medal in the Olympics, there's no sure fire way to be sure that you actually are the best at anything. Chances are, you aren't. No matter what, there's someone better than you. So, what you do, is be better. You may never be the best, but you would be better. I mean, there's nothing wrong with with trying to be the best. Despite the fact that you may never be the best, you will be the best version of you in the end. I know it's corny, don't be an asshole. It's the truth.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Sock Diaries: 1/21/2013
So to all my faithful readers out there, I'm just going to warn you, that the next installment in the sock diaries series may be postponed for a little. Fret not dear friends, I'm anticipating some very, very interesting events to turn up on my trip home, but in order to keep a few details private until they're ready to be public, I'm going to have to hold out on you guys. Don't worry though. All will be revealed in due time.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Into the Minds of Men Pt. 2
"What are you thinking about?"
This is the age old question that women love to ask men during times of perfect silence.
"Nothing." Is the almost adequate, yet completely honest answer we give back.
But nothing is never enough. It's impossible for most women to believe that a man could be sitting and have absolutely nothing on his mind, because most women have never experienced a moment when their conscious mind was completely blank and only processing whatever data was coming through, whether it's something in TV, or just sitting and listening to music. Men have a gift where sometimes, there could be no TV, no music, and yet we're silent and staring off into space, and when you ask us what we're thinking about, "Nothing." is all you get. Truth is, it probably still is just nothing. It's kind of like we're sleeping with our eyes open. I told you before in the first part of "Into the Minds of Men" that men aren't complicated. But I won't lecture you on the lack of information traveling through our heads. What I'll actually help you out with is when there actually is something happening up there.
"How do I look?"
You ask this question, and what's happening now, is we're processing the truth and seeing how much of a lie we need to mix in to make it believable. We have to factor in what we think you think about how you look, and how we think about how you look, and what you think we think we're expecting to say to you about how you look. It's a whole list of complicated algorithms and equations that you wouldn't really understand. But the end result is usually something like u+m+u-m+c. That's "what you think plus what we really think plus what you think minus the fact that we almost don't care plus a compliment". Here's how that works.
"How do I look?"
"Um, it's nice...." (looks for the thing that stands out the most about the outfit) "I like the...flowers."
"You sure it isn't like... too flowery?" (Warning: We've stopped caring already.)
And then things get difficult. You end up changing outfits anyway and not even asking our opinion about it, and we wonder why you asked in the first place. Was it to affirm that you didn't really want to wear the first one?
"What do you want to do/eat/see at the movies?"
Usually we respond "Whatever you want to do/eat/see at the movies." and you go "I don't really know..." and then pitch a bunch of movies we have absolutely no interest in seeing.
In this case, we honestly DO NOT want to let you pick the movie/food or activity. If doing any of these things wasn't our idea, we usually hope you have a good idea but usually very little faith. If we agree to go along to something you invited us to, plan something. You would expect nothing like less from us.
"Why do you like me?"
Now I'll be honest. I have a very, very strong bias against this question. By Bias, I mean I hate it with a fiery passion. We express how and why I feel about you in different ways all the time. Learn your man. We give off signs, like telling you how sexy or beautiful or cute you look when you put on our shirt, or when you laugh or when you smile. We smile extra hard every time you make that meal, or sing in that beautiful voice of yours. We read you, and go out of our way to make sure you never run out of reasons to love us. Don't worry, we don't need you to do that. We got in it for who you are. We like you for everything you are, not what you think we think you should be. And if that's not enough, then it's because of blow jobs. You give great blow jobs.
These were just a few examples of some of the ways your average guy would respond to certain specific situations that he may get put into with a female friend or significant other.this isn't an all encompassing map into what your specific guy may be thinking, but it is a vague outline of what could be expected.You won't see it, and you won't hear it, but it's there. Just remember that you don't see it, and you don't hear it for a reason. It's my job to tell you the secrets. Not his.
This is the age old question that women love to ask men during times of perfect silence.
"Nothing." Is the almost adequate, yet completely honest answer we give back.
But nothing is never enough. It's impossible for most women to believe that a man could be sitting and have absolutely nothing on his mind, because most women have never experienced a moment when their conscious mind was completely blank and only processing whatever data was coming through, whether it's something in TV, or just sitting and listening to music. Men have a gift where sometimes, there could be no TV, no music, and yet we're silent and staring off into space, and when you ask us what we're thinking about, "Nothing." is all you get. Truth is, it probably still is just nothing. It's kind of like we're sleeping with our eyes open. I told you before in the first part of "Into the Minds of Men" that men aren't complicated. But I won't lecture you on the lack of information traveling through our heads. What I'll actually help you out with is when there actually is something happening up there.
"How do I look?"
You ask this question, and what's happening now, is we're processing the truth and seeing how much of a lie we need to mix in to make it believable. We have to factor in what we think you think about how you look, and how we think about how you look, and what you think we think we're expecting to say to you about how you look. It's a whole list of complicated algorithms and equations that you wouldn't really understand. But the end result is usually something like u+m+u-m+c. That's "what you think plus what we really think plus what you think minus the fact that we almost don't care plus a compliment". Here's how that works.
"How do I look?"
"Um, it's nice...." (looks for the thing that stands out the most about the outfit) "I like the...flowers."
"You sure it isn't like... too flowery?" (Warning: We've stopped caring already.)
And then things get difficult. You end up changing outfits anyway and not even asking our opinion about it, and we wonder why you asked in the first place. Was it to affirm that you didn't really want to wear the first one?
"What do you want to do/eat/see at the movies?"
Usually we respond "Whatever you want to do/eat/see at the movies." and you go "I don't really know..." and then pitch a bunch of movies we have absolutely no interest in seeing.
In this case, we honestly DO NOT want to let you pick the movie/food or activity. If doing any of these things wasn't our idea, we usually hope you have a good idea but usually very little faith. If we agree to go along to something you invited us to, plan something. You would expect nothing like less from us.
"Why do you like me?"
Now I'll be honest. I have a very, very strong bias against this question. By Bias, I mean I hate it with a fiery passion. We express how and why I feel about you in different ways all the time. Learn your man. We give off signs, like telling you how sexy or beautiful or cute you look when you put on our shirt, or when you laugh or when you smile. We smile extra hard every time you make that meal, or sing in that beautiful voice of yours. We read you, and go out of our way to make sure you never run out of reasons to love us. Don't worry, we don't need you to do that. We got in it for who you are. We like you for everything you are, not what you think we think you should be. And if that's not enough, then it's because of blow jobs. You give great blow jobs.
These were just a few examples of some of the ways your average guy would respond to certain specific situations that he may get put into with a female friend or significant other.this isn't an all encompassing map into what your specific guy may be thinking, but it is a vague outline of what could be expected.You won't see it, and you won't hear it, but it's there. Just remember that you don't see it, and you don't hear it for a reason. It's my job to tell you the secrets. Not his.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Sock Diaries: 1/5/2013
Okay, I have a bit of a confession for you guys. I know that lately, I've been a little cold and robotic when it comes to the subject of women and relationships. But I am here today to assure you, ladies and gentlemen, that I am still the chase-down-the-train, stop-the-flight, heart-on-my-sleeve romantic that I've always been. The truth is, since my break-up, I wanted nothing to do with the whole lot for a while. Just a little time away from all the love-me, sacrifice for me, give-me aspect of relationships. My ex was... for lack of a better word... needy. She needed a lot of attention and tending to. The attention thing I didn't mind. I reveled in it at first, actually. But eventually, the novelty wears thin. After the whole thing, I couldn't stand the thought of being needed, like a relationship hangover. I looked at people in relationships and rolled my eyes, imagining that a committed relationship was social suicide. In my mind, we were fisherman in the middle of an ocean full of fish, and instead of casting wide nets, these fools were using fishing poles and their best bait.
But those fishermen with the poles have a point. While some of us heave and ho and slave away, trying to catch 'em all, those men sit in their canoes, sipping beer and soaking up the sun, content in finding that one catch that will fill their bellies and leave them content. Anyway, enough with the fishing metaphor, I don't know enough about it and it was on the verge of getting a little thin.
But the point is, while I'm out here chasing rabbits, I may have a few trophies to bring back and show off for a little, but it's nothing like having that one reliable person to spend those quieter times with. I still believe in relationships and all that true love shit. I'll still break down and tell a girl how beautiful she is and that she deserves better, or go all the way out of my way to make sure that not only are her tears dry, but they won't be returning any time soon. The thing is... I won't be letting that side make any of the decisions for a while.
But those fishermen with the poles have a point. While some of us heave and ho and slave away, trying to catch 'em all, those men sit in their canoes, sipping beer and soaking up the sun, content in finding that one catch that will fill their bellies and leave them content. Anyway, enough with the fishing metaphor, I don't know enough about it and it was on the verge of getting a little thin.
But the point is, while I'm out here chasing rabbits, I may have a few trophies to bring back and show off for a little, but it's nothing like having that one reliable person to spend those quieter times with. I still believe in relationships and all that true love shit. I'll still break down and tell a girl how beautiful she is and that she deserves better, or go all the way out of my way to make sure that not only are her tears dry, but they won't be returning any time soon. The thing is... I won't be letting that side make any of the decisions for a while.
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