What did you do on day one? Did you dress in your fanciest clothes, take her to a fancy restaurant, and not even break a sweat at the $110 bill, knowing damn well you wanted to scream about how she didn't even bring a fucking purse. She brought an ID and a $20 bill and stuffed them in her bra. And your rent is due tomorrow. You're going to be in the negatives for the next week because of this one night. And you're going to suggest "Hey, we can go chill at my place for a while." and she's going to say no. Because she's tired and has to work tomorrow.
Oh, you have a job? I would have never known seeing as how you didn't even think about paying for one thing tonight!
And now you're not even going to get laid. You probably have to go on another date with her. Another expensive ass date. Can't switch to fast food from Le Restau de le Cretin. The bar has been set. See you next week. I hope that's not the only good fancy shirt you have. You might have to sell one of your mint condition comic books that you keep in the glass case in your bedroom.
Shit, you didn't even tell her about the comic books all night did you? And that new trailer that just came out for the new Superhero movie doesn't at all accurately represent the characters and you really want to explain that to someone. But not her. Because she'll think you're a nerd or something.
The problem with that is...
You are a nerd. And you're broke. And you hate that new trailer, you just know that director guy is going to just ruin it all. Again. But what did you do on day one? You were someone you don't even know and you did things you couldn't even imagine doing on a regular basis. And you didn't even get laid.
Be yourself. TV and Disney movies try to stress this as much as possible, but I don't think the message is being truly appreciated. It's more than just you're not as fun, or you're not a nice guy when you're pretending to be someone else, it's that you can't hold up a charade forever, and you won't want to. You're you because you like doing what you do. I mean, if you're like, fucking apple pies, and torturing cats, feel free to stop doing that, but if you're just a weirdo who likes having your girl wear cat ears and smell like apple pies, let it out. Eventually. You know, like after you do some normal stuff. Maybe leave the cat ears by the bed. Or slip them on her "playfully" before you do the deed. Wink.
It counts for the women too. Going outside of your element and trying new things, testing your limits, is a great thing. Feel free to go to a museum and get some culture instead of laying around your apartment all day and watching Ryan Gosling movies in a marathon, taking breaks only to see if that guy texted you and masturbating to men's furniture magazines. (These fictional characters are getting really out of hand. If any of them sound like you, call someone. This blog cannot help you.) But if you know you like Victorian style mahogany chairs more than the next girl, don't try and hide it. Let it out. "I have a thing for nice furniture." We won't be at the point where you let him know that you named your vibrator red suede couch, but it's better than you pretending you don't know what a couch is.
My very convoluted point is, be who you are going to be. Everyone is weird, everyone is unique and has something they like and/or do more than most other people. If you feel like you need to be someone different to keep them around, either they aren't worth keeping around, or you've got some growing up to do.
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