But you know what? The reality of it is, that ^^^ guy is an asshole. Not the boyfriend who's acting like an asshole. The friend who's being an asshole. Has that ever been you? Ever found yourself in the Friendzone? I have. And for years, I thought it was the fault of all of those women out there who seemed to be oblivious to the nice guy who bent over backwards to make her smile, and chose, instead, the "assholes" out there who couldn't help but treat her in a manner that couldn't match my dedication in a million years. And nothing was more crushing than the moment you reveal your feelings and she says those fateful words: "You're like a brother to me."
Such bullshit, right? Wrong. You were an asshole. I was an asshole. Every guy who's ever registered himself in the Friendzone database is an asshole. The problem isn't being nice and expecting her to suddenly see you as a romantic figure, or some kind of sex symbol. It's being nice and pretending you don't want her to see you as a romantic sex figure. The reason women tend to go for the "asshole" is because the asshole is the only one being honest about wanting to harpoon her through the genitals, while you're busy backing up to arms-length and pretending to care about what the hell she and Ashley were gossiping about concerning Brittany being a lesbian. You were so asexual in approaching her you were basically a talking Ken doll. Or Barbie, because she might actually think about being with a guy like Ken.
She's going to come to you for advice on how to make this work.
And you're going to give it to her.
Most people talk down on friendzoned guys because they say you shouldn't assume you're entitled to sex for being nice. I only partly agree. I think being nice does help you in your vaginal quest, but if you've spent all this time trying to convince a woman that that's not what you want, because you're not an asshole, then what the hell do you expect her to see you as? You have to be a contender. If you didn't even write your name in when the competition started, don't be surprised when she's asking you to get some gatorade and a towel for the guy who's actually playing for the Championship (thanks to your advice, of course. You are such a good friend.)
So what do you do when you've lied and deceived your way out of a woman's panties and into her "I feel comfortable changing clothes around you because I don't see you like that" zone? Well stop being a liar, for one. Go do something, anything else with your time. If it doesn't involve you bending over backwards for a girl who isn't yours, then you're doing it wrong. Because, congratulations, my friend, you've officially lied yourself out of a future with her. Much like all of those "assholes" she was dating before. But they at least got laid first.
I don't want you to think that I'm telling you to go out and try and get into any girls' panties as your one and only intention. I'm telling you to be up front about how you feel from DAY ONE. If you think she's the most beautiful thing in the world, tell her now, and don't wait until you've "built trust" or whatever other creepy phrase might be involved in some kind of Nazi infiltration movie. Let her know how you feel. And if she doesn't feel the same way, you can continue communication, but don't let her forget that you're in this to win it. (But don't be creepy. No means no. There are other beautiful women in the world. I promise.) If she does forget, the Zone will be waiting for you. And good luck getting back out.
"Home, where I learned the truth about despair, as will you. There's a reason why this prison is the worst hell on earth... Hope. Every man who has ventured here over the centuries has looked up to the light and imagined climbing to freedom. So easy... So simple... And like shipwrecked men turning to sea water from uncontrollable thirst, many have died trying." -Bane, The Dark Knight Rises
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