Perfectly adequate... or you could just shoot me in the mouth...

I was once called "pretty good" by a girl I was with. You know... with. As much as I enjoy constructive criticism, all I could actually hear was something along the lines of "You have a small penis, your wife is going to leave you for a french porn star, your children are going to hate you and you'll probably die alone."
I don't know if it's engrained in me as a man, or if it's something that society tells me that I always need to be the best, or if that's just my own personal... hubris. What I do know is, when a man is supposed to be yours and yours alone, you let him know that he's the greatest thing since the wheel. For some reason, almost no man can accept being anything but the G.O.A.T. in your vagina.

In case you want to get him a gift he would actually wear 

to those formal events....

When I think back to the relationships in which I felt the happiest, I remember that it was because the girl or woman I was with made me feel like I was all she needed in the world. Like her list of necessities went as such:

1. Me
2. Oxygen
3. Water
4. Food
5. Me

And it felt amazing. I felt strong, important, and relevant. Now I'm not saying that any or all relationships should be like this, by far. I'm not even saying that my own relationship should be like that. As I go through this jungle of dating with my bulldozer, I realize at every turn that I have no idea what I want. But I know what most men need at least sometimes. It's that feeling of being powerful. Of being the king of his own castle, because we're not all rock-stars who live and breathe by our own schedule. The world is constantly beating us down and reminding us of how low we really are on the totem pole, despite raising us to believe that we should never not be on top. For the relationship "Alphas" the woman (or partners) of the world are our queens, and we hope to be the Kings, if not everyday, for one day once in a while. We want to be the best. Better than anyone else who's ever stepped up to the plate. It's an ego thing. No shit. And many men may grow out of it. But it never hurts to put the effort forward to give your man that throne. Because sometimes, it's either that, or you could just shoot us in the mouth.