Sock Diaries... 4/8/2015

I feel like I'm getting lost in a sea of LED lights and fast messaging. Social de-evolution, driven by electronic devices and so-called "social media" services, are slowly driving me out. I crave real, human connection. I would say something like... "People don't connect anymore..." but that would be a lie. People connect all the time. Just less and less often. It's funny because my first love lived in my life solely through electronic devices. They were marvels that had delivered to me the girl of my dreams. Now, I don't look at them with a longing, thinking of what they can do, but of what they can't. I feel like I've forgotten, or maybe I've never known... what it's like to have someone to be a part of, in person. the warmth of reliability. To wake up in the morning and go to sleep at night... connected.
I had a fleeting taste of it, and it was... sweet. But now, instead of that connection gotten by a genuine smile or a look of confusion or discovery at an original idea, it's blind, expressionless thumbs-ups of approval. I've never seen a person genuinely interested in a topic that they gave a thumbs up to after seeing or hearing for the first time even in person. It meant "I acknowledge the existence of whatever this is." Nothing more. But that's what people thrive off of now.
And now that I've felt and seen what it's like to exist in love only through electricity, and lost my taste for it, either I'm too far ahead, or too far behind everyone else. I'm on the outside looking in, but I'm not bitter. I'm not resentful that everyone else doesn't think like I do, and I'm not wallowing in the forever unsatisfying pool of nostalgia, always fruitlessly reminding everyone of days gone by and how great things used to be. I'm envious of others' ability to be happy with something that I can't.
A train has passed, and I'm not sure if I was supposed to be on it, or if everyone else was supposed to get off...