I just watched a movie about the end of the world. Not like the Day After Tomorrow or anything. The movie was called "Seeking a Friend for the End of the World." In it, they release the news that a meteor is on the way to earth and they've failed for the last time to prevent it's landing. The world goes crazy, and the main character sits in a car with his wife, who, on listening to the news on the radio, and hearing they have three weeks left until the end of the world, opens the car door and sprints away in silence.
There's a lot of talk through the movie about dying alone. Through the movie I began to think about the decisions I've made in my life through the fear of ending up alone. I've gotten into relationships and situations that I found literally no happiness in with the person, just the relief that I wouldn't be alone at the end of the day. I've ruined good things by becoming desperate and scared after relationships had ended.
I have actually truly loved and lost, but by the end of that movie, seeing the characters develop and find what it was that they wanted most before the end of the world, I felt something I'd never felt before. I realized that if I died where I am right now, I would be okay. I don't need someone to tell me they love me before I close my eyes at night anymore, or to hold that special someone close in my arms. I've done it. And it was amazing. Now, I just want to write and live. I'm enjoying knowing who I am and where I'm going. Even if I go it alone. Strangely enough, I'm happier now, than I've been in a very, very long time...
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