Your Type...

"Guys are assholes." A lot of women say this. A lot of lesbians say this. You know whats funny about this statement? A good chunk of the time, based on their experience, this statement can be proved true. They've only dated guys that are assholes. They can't seem to sift through the crap and find something worth something. I have the answer you're looking for darling. You want to know why you can't find a decent man. The reason is because you're not dating them. Now I know some of you are going to go, "Well DUH!" to which I will reply "THEN WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM YOU ASS?"
My question is, if you know you're only dating asses, why are you still dating asses? It's not every guy's fault that you have bad taste in men. There is usually someone out there who you have either put in the friendzone, or completely overlooked. That one guy who would give his left nut for you to give him a chance to be with you. But no. You stick with the same formula. You go after the same kind of guy and hope that this one is different. Some of you even BELIEVE that you've dated different guys. Chances are, that's a lie. All you've dated are asses.

"Well I dated this one guy, he was nice, but I cheated on him."

... I'm not going to respond to that.

To be honest. I'm encouraging you, when that relationship you're in INEVITABLY fails, date an ugly guy. Hang around him, get used to the idea and get in. See what great surprises you have in store for him. Be warned though. There are some ugly guys out there with no balls. I have nothing to say for or about that. Just avoid it while they get themselves together.

"I've dated an ugly dude before, he cheated on me too."

Well I can explain this situation easily. Either, A. He wasn't ugly and you just have ridiculously high standards or B. You're ugly and just in denial, or C. Someone REALLY doesn't like you.

"I've dated an ugly dude and he was bullshit."

What? You should have known that was coming before you got into a relationship with him.

"I'm dating a handsome guy and things between me and him are great."

Shut the hell up.

I have to admit, being the ugly man in the group, (it's my job, someone has to do it, and if there are no ugly people in your group, then you're upsetting the balance of nature and you're the reason bad things happen...) I have friends that aren't ugly that do right by their women. Actually, just about none of my friends cheat on their girlfriends. Then again we are a special group. We're the reason good things happen. Like when you find a hundred dollar bill. It was our luck that made it drift away from us into your direction. Big responsibility, I know.

To sum things up, I would have to say, it's not our fault that you only date jack asses. And not all men/boys are jack asses. You're the one that doesn't know how to pick 'em. It's time for a change in pace.