Why Men Do Men Cheat?

 "Why do men cheat?" The age old question is asked. Normally, I would go off in some tangent about how it should be "Why do people cheat?" because women, of course, have their bouts of infidelity. But this time, I will actually focus on the male side of fault. "Why do men cheat?" I can answer this question for the vast majority of straight men out there, who have cheated on someone they love, whether it be wife, or girlfriend. There are millions of broken hearted sweethearts out there who have the same questions. Victims of the same domestic crime.
Why.
Do.
Men.
Cheat?
Why would a guy seemingly go out of his way to throw everything he's built with someone in a relationship away for some random, unreliable piece of cheap ass? Well, one thing to be cleared up is that he's not thinking about throwing anything away. In fact, he's not thinking about you at all. When he's face first in some strange, purple-pube dyed muff, your love is not giving you a moment of thought. But the question is, do you really want him to think about you while he's waist deep in the fat nurse from next door? Honestly, that would mean he has some kind of strange comtempt for you that he wishes, and therefore initiated, that you were someone else. No, your man paying you any mind. At that moment it's about pussy.
Do you think that cheating has something to do with love? Well then you're an idiot, stop reading my literature now. The most loving man in the world can cheat on his wife, because as I said before, he won't be thinking about his wife while he catches herpes from the 53 year old hooker from the liquor store three blocks away. There is a moment, though, where you, the betrayed, are actually thought of. And it's right before the deed is initiated. When he gets that call that it's time, he gets things together and wonders if he should go with it, weighs the level of risk of getting caught, (huge factor) and, very briefly, what it would be like to trade the significant other in for the sideline girl.
Men are created with a spare almost everything. spare ball, spare eye, spare hand, one tongue, but a bunch of teeth. The most dangerous spare is the spare brain. The other factor in cheating, that every woman likes to accuse of being the number one factor in all cases, "The Other Head." The "Other Head" contains another brain, that was given the power to override all logic functions in the male brain. So many times it's all just about getting laid. Getting something "different." Does it really make sense? No. Not one bit. In reality, well, scientifically, a woman's orgasm is on average much more powerful than that of a man, but notoriously hard to accomplish by vaginal intercourse alone. When it comes down to it, no matter what position you get in, it's still an in and out motion until ejaculation. A male can't reach sexual satisfaction without orgasm, as a woman can. In most cases, males get much less out of the trade-off. So why would a man want something different, if he knows, in essence, it's almost the same thing?
Cheat. Ok, I was trying to do this whole thing where I start every paragraph with a word until the first word of every paragraph collectively read "Why do men cheat." In reality, it's very difficult to inconspicuously start a sentence with a verb, so I just put it there. It's done. Get over it. The last peice to the heart-breaking puzzle is... greed. The number One reason men cheat, is because they're being greedy. There's nothing wrong with what they have, despite their desparate attempts at justifying things by blaming "Staleness in their sexual relationship." They just want more. The ice cream and the cake. Greed.